Would You Choose Abortion???

I copied this and would like you to read it before you read what I have to say about the matter.

A recent headline-maker: A Florida couple are suing an obstetrician and two ultrasound clinics for not warning them that their son would be born with just one leg and no arms. The defense is saying Ana Mejia signed forms that indicated she understood an ultrasound—she had seven during her pregnancy—is not a guarantee of a “normal” baby. Her son, Bryan, is now almost three years old. “He sees kids running and playing. He looks like he wants to do the same, but he just can’t,” she said during the trial, expected to wrap up this week. Had she known about her son’s disabilities, she proclaimed, “I would have had an abortion.”

It’s a question that can make your heart and head ache: If you had a choice, and your beliefs permitted abortion, would you have chosen to have a child with special needs? That’s what went through my mind when I read that story.

Knowing my child, a beautiful boy with cerebral palsy whose disabilities are a normal part of his life and ours, I would answer “Of course I would have chosen to have Max.” And yet, I am not completely sure of what my answer would have been back then. The fear of the unknown might have consumed me. Having a child with disabilities can seem like a terrible fate…until you have a child with special needs.

My hindsight is clouded by my love for my son. He has changed my perspective, my understanding, my soul. I am grateful for him, and the happiness he brings me. I would not be terrified to have another kid with special needs—quite the opposite. I understand why people choose to adopt kids with special needs, something my husband and I have discussed.

It is now public record that the mother in this trial would have aborted her son. Most likely, she admitted it because she thought it could help sway the jury and win the case, along with money the boy needs for his future care. The judge did not allow the defense attorney to ask Ana Mejia how she could say she would have aborted a child who she loves, given that she was talking about what she would have done before she had him. When he asked her, “Does his life have value?” she responded, “Yes, a lot of value. Great value.”

What are your thoughts on the case? Is this a choice you’ve ever thought about?

After having kids of my own I can understand the over whelming feeling of the unknown. Not knowing what your child’s and your future has in store. Now saying that, I can say without a doubt in my mind that I would never abort one of my children after finding out they have special needs. Of course unless it was life threatening but that’s not what we are talking about. We are talking about special needs, a completely innocent, loving gift.

I found out I was pregnant at only 2 to 3 weeks. That’s pretty soon I know. I literally felt pregnant with in those 2 weeks and took a test. Then when I had my first ultrasound at 8 weeks to confirm how far along I was it was exactly 6 weeks after I took the test. I had HG during my pregnancy which is the cause of my early pregnancy symptoms and weight loss of 25 lbs in 2 months. Because of these symptoms the doctors took test and did extra ultra sounds to figure out what was going on. And one point I was told that one of the babies may have had some sort of special needs but at then only 1o weeks it was too early to tell what it would be. Going home with that feeling of the unknown was very overwhelming. When the doctor told me this though I remember thinking in my head I don’t care what it is I’m having these babies. It turned out to be nothing obviously but that is how I know with every certainty that I would not abort in this situation.

I never did understand how one could be ok with choosing abortion for this reason, but I know for a fact there are more people that would then you would think. When I was looking into being a surrogate I remember that this was always one of the intended parents first 3 questions.  “If we find out that the baby has special needs are you willing to abort” ? My answer was always no and I must tell you it was this reason that I began to lose hope of ever finding the right IP’s. I must have turned down at least 25 IP’s because of our different beliefs in abortion. It was even harder for me to understand these people, these people who have waited year and years for a precious baby and just because the baby isn’t “perfect” then this baby is just not good enough for them. I can’t tell you how many time I wanted to scream “beggars can’t be choosers you ungrateful people”!

If you cant love this child then I know there will be someone out there who will But to abort a child who will only know their specials needs as their life and will learn to use what they have is so sad to me. often its these people in life that teach us how to have compassion and have a new perspective on life! Have you ever seen how happy a child with down syndrome is, completely content. Or have you see the documentary of the lady with no arms and one leg. she learned to feed herself with her foot, cook, clean completely lived alone and went on with life happy and feeling blessed!

Have you ever been in this predicament? Ever faced with having to ask yourself, “will I choose abortion if my child has special needs”? if so I want to hear your side and I can promise to put any of my judgmental views aside if it means me being one step closer to understanding the other side of this!

Reception In Progress

Nathan and I have been getting a lot done with our reception and its going so smoothly!! Yesterday we spend 2 hours registering at Bed Bath and Beyond which I think Nathan had more fun than I did lol. We kept going back and fourth whether we were going to register but after my Mom, Anna, my aunt and several other people said we would be crazy not to we decided to go ahead with it. So far we have every detail planned along with food, décor, entertainment and colors of course. We have come WAY under our nonexistent budget… meaning we never really had a budget, just kept everything as cheap as possible! We knew we wanted some elaborate décor but to keep it cheap I decided to do everything myself but do it in a way that it doesn’t look like a DIY reception. So far I have accomplished just that. We have also decided to use about 90% recycled or reused products for everything to keep it eco friendly. I have made many practice projects to make sure everything will work out perfectly. Here are a few pictures and keep in mind this isn’t what everything will look like since I have had to be using items I had laying around for my practice projects so the colors and such are obviously not right! by the way.... not all the pics are mine but my cam is on the fritz so I download some that look VERY similar to mine like the jar picture

These are our silverware... well actually its fully biodegradable bamboo ware and really cheap, also very cute!! of course we will be using Biodegradable plates and bowls as well.

We are making oragmi butterflies to hang on the rim of the wine glasses. these will serve as the name tag things that let people know where to sit. I dont know what you call them =)

My jars that I have been collecting are coming into use. I wont be putting flowers in them though, instead candles but I cant get a good pic with the candles and my cam is on the fritz.

 DIY wire table number holders. they are simple but I think really cute.

and lastly tissue paper flowers. I am making 12 huge balls of them as center pieces. kind of like the kissing balls except way cheaper, these costed me about 50cents a ball compared to $50 to $100 a ball that I have seen them for made with silk flowers. usually you would use styrofoam balls for the middle to stick the flowers in but thats not very eco friendly is it! instead the kids and I have been making big paper mache  balls. (and yes the flowers are made entirely out of tissue paper and SO easy to make

So with a little creativity everything is coming out great. were at about $2000 and that includes the rentals and DJ (thanks to Tarek a dj I used to work with who is amazing) and entertainment. all that needs to be done is alterations to my dress which was estimated at $100 and food which has been priced out to $300.  It doesn't seem like you can do much with such a little amount but creativity and TIME go along way.

Our Wedding

OK, again LONG overdue! I think that’s becoming a catch phrase for my blog. As I’m sure everyone know by now Nathan and I semi eloped July 21^st 2011. Several months prior to our wedding we had made very last minute plans to go see my Na-Na and other Bama family because we had just found out that my Na-Na had cancer and may not make it so we figured we would stop out in Oklahoma to see grandma and grandpa too. Nathan and I actually got engaged 1-11-11 at Grandma Grandpa’s house so that’s how the crazy idea got started. We thought it would be great to get married in the same place that we got engaged AND it was perfect because it being Grandma and Grandpas it was that much more meaningful.

We planned the whole thing in maybe two months. From the begging we knew we wanted something very small and quaint. No big hoopla, not a lot of people, no uptight dinner, just something stress free that made it easy for Nathan and I to just focus on each other, after all that is what a wedding is about, two people becoming one and promising themselves to each other forever. I think a lot of wedding have so much stress and chaos over dresses, family, what food will be served and what will the cake look like that often couples lose sight of the reason that they were having a wedding to begin with. The vows are for us, the other stuff is really for everyone else.

It was PERFECT! Exactly what we wanted! Two nights prior Sheila had asked to take the kids for the day so Nathan and I took advantage of the day tying up loose ends. Sheila had asked if she could do something special for us which I thought was so sweet of her. We had told everyone not to do anything that we didn’t want any elaborate dinner or celebration and they stuck to that well! Te day of Nathan, the kids and I spent the day slowly getting ready. It was so nice being so laid back. I mean we didn’t even pick the spot in the yard where we wanted to have the ceremony till just before. Its several acres of farm land and we didn’t know where the shade would be so we just waited too around that time. We picked a spot overlooking the grassy hills with some cows in the distance. We set the arch up under a tall tree. It was PERFECT!! It was hot that day but I swear as soon as we headed out side in became overcast. I had shoes to wear but not wanting to step in stickers I opted for my sneakers. Nathan laughed at me and said they were my running shoes.

I left Maureen in charge of sitting with the kids during the ceremony but I told her to just let them be them. I wanted everything to showcase us and how we were as a family, even if that meant Ridge carry his bear down the aisle or jazzy yell back to me and Jayvin as we walked crossed the dive driveway down to the arch “look both ways”. They all sat very quietly though. As Nathan took my hand Ridge decided that daddy was getting to close so he became a bit jealous (as he often does) so he took action. Ridge walked over, bear in hand and stepped right between Nathan and I. he looked at Nathan and then wrapped himself around my legs for the remainder of the ceremony. It had to be the cutest thing.

The ceremony took all of 20 mins and then we were done. Sheila had the kids surprise us with rice bag to throw at us as we walked back to the house. The second we went inside I made sure everyone was done taking pictures and then changed into some shorts and a tank top (classy I know). Sheila and Maureen had prepared some chicken salad sandwiches for dinner, very simple and we ate standing up. PERFECT!! Then we enjoyed the cupcakes that the kids had made while at Sheila’s it was a great surprise……… and that was it really. Like I said simple, pretty, intimate and…… PERFECT!!

Nathan and I decided not to get our wedding license in Ok since we wanted it where we lived and to be honest we wanted to enjoy our time out there not worry about having to go to the court house. So about 3 days after we got back to Az we went to the court house up here and signed our certificate. It was actually funny because the judge who signed our certificate was a judge Nathan knew all too well lol. Back in Nathans rebellious days he had got into some trouble a few times. The judge that completed our certificate was a judge Nathan had seen about 3 times. We joked on the way home “well at least it wasn’t a complete stranger who re married us… so that’s significant” a joke that not many other people would probably find funny (unless maybe you’re my mom who thought it was hilarious…. Or my aunt, uncle, cousins, ok probably my whole family cause that just the way we are) lol.

Anyways here are some pre wedding pics and some of the big day!