Would You Choose Abortion???

I copied this and would like you to read it before you read what I have to say about the matter.

A recent headline-maker: A Florida couple are suing an obstetrician and two ultrasound clinics for not warning them that their son would be born with just one leg and no arms. The defense is saying Ana Mejia signed forms that indicated she understood an ultrasound—she had seven during her pregnancy—is not a guarantee of a “normal” baby. Her son, Bryan, is now almost three years old. “He sees kids running and playing. He looks like he wants to do the same, but he just can’t,” she said during the trial, expected to wrap up this week. Had she known about her son’s disabilities, she proclaimed, “I would have had an abortion.”

It’s a question that can make your heart and head ache: If you had a choice, and your beliefs permitted abortion, would you have chosen to have a child with special needs? That’s what went through my mind when I read that story.

Knowing my child, a beautiful boy with cerebral palsy whose disabilities are a normal part of his life and ours, I would answer “Of course I would have chosen to have Max.” And yet, I am not completely sure of what my answer would have been back then. The fear of the unknown might have consumed me. Having a child with disabilities can seem like a terrible fate…until you have a child with special needs.

My hindsight is clouded by my love for my son. He has changed my perspective, my understanding, my soul. I am grateful for him, and the happiness he brings me. I would not be terrified to have another kid with special needs—quite the opposite. I understand why people choose to adopt kids with special needs, something my husband and I have discussed.

It is now public record that the mother in this trial would have aborted her son. Most likely, she admitted it because she thought it could help sway the jury and win the case, along with money the boy needs for his future care. The judge did not allow the defense attorney to ask Ana Mejia how she could say she would have aborted a child who she loves, given that she was talking about what she would have done before she had him. When he asked her, “Does his life have value?” she responded, “Yes, a lot of value. Great value.”

What are your thoughts on the case? Is this a choice you’ve ever thought about?

After having kids of my own I can understand the over whelming feeling of the unknown. Not knowing what your child’s and your future has in store. Now saying that, I can say without a doubt in my mind that I would never abort one of my children after finding out they have special needs. Of course unless it was life threatening but that’s not what we are talking about. We are talking about special needs, a completely innocent, loving gift.

I found out I was pregnant at only 2 to 3 weeks. That’s pretty soon I know. I literally felt pregnant with in those 2 weeks and took a test. Then when I had my first ultrasound at 8 weeks to confirm how far along I was it was exactly 6 weeks after I took the test. I had HG during my pregnancy which is the cause of my early pregnancy symptoms and weight loss of 25 lbs in 2 months. Because of these symptoms the doctors took test and did extra ultra sounds to figure out what was going on. And one point I was told that one of the babies may have had some sort of special needs but at then only 1o weeks it was too early to tell what it would be. Going home with that feeling of the unknown was very overwhelming. When the doctor told me this though I remember thinking in my head I don’t care what it is I’m having these babies. It turned out to be nothing obviously but that is how I know with every certainty that I would not abort in this situation.

I never did understand how one could be ok with choosing abortion for this reason, but I know for a fact there are more people that would then you would think. When I was looking into being a surrogate I remember that this was always one of the intended parents first 3 questions.  “If we find out that the baby has special needs are you willing to abort” ? My answer was always no and I must tell you it was this reason that I began to lose hope of ever finding the right IP’s. I must have turned down at least 25 IP’s because of our different beliefs in abortion. It was even harder for me to understand these people, these people who have waited year and years for a precious baby and just because the baby isn’t “perfect” then this baby is just not good enough for them. I can’t tell you how many time I wanted to scream “beggars can’t be choosers you ungrateful people”!

If you cant love this child then I know there will be someone out there who will But to abort a child who will only know their specials needs as their life and will learn to use what they have is so sad to me. often its these people in life that teach us how to have compassion and have a new perspective on life! Have you ever seen how happy a child with down syndrome is, completely content. Or have you see the documentary of the lady with no arms and one leg. she learned to feed herself with her foot, cook, clean completely lived alone and went on with life happy and feeling blessed!

Have you ever been in this predicament? Ever faced with having to ask yourself, “will I choose abortion if my child has special needs”? if so I want to hear your side and I can promise to put any of my judgmental views aside if it means me being one step closer to understanding the other side of this!

Reception In Progress

Nathan and I have been getting a lot done with our reception and its going so smoothly!! Yesterday we spend 2 hours registering at Bed Bath and Beyond which I think Nathan had more fun than I did lol. We kept going back and fourth whether we were going to register but after my Mom, Anna, my aunt and several other people said we would be crazy not to we decided to go ahead with it. So far we have every detail planned along with food, décor, entertainment and colors of course. We have come WAY under our nonexistent budget… meaning we never really had a budget, just kept everything as cheap as possible! We knew we wanted some elaborate décor but to keep it cheap I decided to do everything myself but do it in a way that it doesn’t look like a DIY reception. So far I have accomplished just that. We have also decided to use about 90% recycled or reused products for everything to keep it eco friendly. I have made many practice projects to make sure everything will work out perfectly. Here are a few pictures and keep in mind this isn’t what everything will look like since I have had to be using items I had laying around for my practice projects so the colors and such are obviously not right! by the way.... not all the pics are mine but my cam is on the fritz so I download some that look VERY similar to mine like the jar picture

These are our silverware... well actually its fully biodegradable bamboo ware and really cheap, also very cute!! of course we will be using Biodegradable plates and bowls as well.

We are making oragmi butterflies to hang on the rim of the wine glasses. these will serve as the name tag things that let people know where to sit. I dont know what you call them =)

My jars that I have been collecting are coming into use. I wont be putting flowers in them though, instead candles but I cant get a good pic with the candles and my cam is on the fritz.

 DIY wire table number holders. they are simple but I think really cute.

and lastly tissue paper flowers. I am making 12 huge balls of them as center pieces. kind of like the kissing balls except way cheaper, these costed me about 50cents a ball compared to $50 to $100 a ball that I have seen them for made with silk flowers. usually you would use styrofoam balls for the middle to stick the flowers in but thats not very eco friendly is it! instead the kids and I have been making big paper mache  balls. (and yes the flowers are made entirely out of tissue paper and SO easy to make

So with a little creativity everything is coming out great. were at about $2000 and that includes the rentals and DJ (thanks to Tarek a dj I used to work with who is amazing) and entertainment. all that needs to be done is alterations to my dress which was estimated at $100 and food which has been priced out to $300.  It doesn't seem like you can do much with such a little amount but creativity and TIME go along way.

Our Wedding

OK, again LONG overdue! I think that’s becoming a catch phrase for my blog. As I’m sure everyone know by now Nathan and I semi eloped July 21^st 2011. Several months prior to our wedding we had made very last minute plans to go see my Na-Na and other Bama family because we had just found out that my Na-Na had cancer and may not make it so we figured we would stop out in Oklahoma to see grandma and grandpa too. Nathan and I actually got engaged 1-11-11 at Grandma Grandpa’s house so that’s how the crazy idea got started. We thought it would be great to get married in the same place that we got engaged AND it was perfect because it being Grandma and Grandpas it was that much more meaningful.

We planned the whole thing in maybe two months. From the begging we knew we wanted something very small and quaint. No big hoopla, not a lot of people, no uptight dinner, just something stress free that made it easy for Nathan and I to just focus on each other, after all that is what a wedding is about, two people becoming one and promising themselves to each other forever. I think a lot of wedding have so much stress and chaos over dresses, family, what food will be served and what will the cake look like that often couples lose sight of the reason that they were having a wedding to begin with. The vows are for us, the other stuff is really for everyone else.

It was PERFECT! Exactly what we wanted! Two nights prior Sheila had asked to take the kids for the day so Nathan and I took advantage of the day tying up loose ends. Sheila had asked if she could do something special for us which I thought was so sweet of her. We had told everyone not to do anything that we didn’t want any elaborate dinner or celebration and they stuck to that well! Te day of Nathan, the kids and I spent the day slowly getting ready. It was so nice being so laid back. I mean we didn’t even pick the spot in the yard where we wanted to have the ceremony till just before. Its several acres of farm land and we didn’t know where the shade would be so we just waited too around that time. We picked a spot overlooking the grassy hills with some cows in the distance. We set the arch up under a tall tree. It was PERFECT!! It was hot that day but I swear as soon as we headed out side in became overcast. I had shoes to wear but not wanting to step in stickers I opted for my sneakers. Nathan laughed at me and said they were my running shoes.

I left Maureen in charge of sitting with the kids during the ceremony but I told her to just let them be them. I wanted everything to showcase us and how we were as a family, even if that meant Ridge carry his bear down the aisle or jazzy yell back to me and Jayvin as we walked crossed the dive driveway down to the arch “look both ways”. They all sat very quietly though. As Nathan took my hand Ridge decided that daddy was getting to close so he became a bit jealous (as he often does) so he took action. Ridge walked over, bear in hand and stepped right between Nathan and I. he looked at Nathan and then wrapped himself around my legs for the remainder of the ceremony. It had to be the cutest thing.

The ceremony took all of 20 mins and then we were done. Sheila had the kids surprise us with rice bag to throw at us as we walked back to the house. The second we went inside I made sure everyone was done taking pictures and then changed into some shorts and a tank top (classy I know). Sheila and Maureen had prepared some chicken salad sandwiches for dinner, very simple and we ate standing up. PERFECT!! Then we enjoyed the cupcakes that the kids had made while at Sheila’s it was a great surprise……… and that was it really. Like I said simple, pretty, intimate and…… PERFECT!!

Nathan and I decided not to get our wedding license in Ok since we wanted it where we lived and to be honest we wanted to enjoy our time out there not worry about having to go to the court house. So about 3 days after we got back to Az we went to the court house up here and signed our certificate. It was actually funny because the judge who signed our certificate was a judge Nathan knew all too well lol. Back in Nathans rebellious days he had got into some trouble a few times. The judge that completed our certificate was a judge Nathan had seen about 3 times. We joked on the way home “well at least it wasn’t a complete stranger who re married us… so that’s significant” a joke that not many other people would probably find funny (unless maybe you’re my mom who thought it was hilarious…. Or my aunt, uncle, cousins, ok probably my whole family cause that just the way we are) lol.

Anyways here are some pre wedding pics and some of the big day!

Alabama Trip

OK it’s entirely overdue, I know! Better late than never they say.

So our month long trip was incredible!!! I think with the surprise of our elopement everyone forgot the REAL reason we took this trip to begin with. My Na-Na was diagnosed with cancer several months back and gave us quite a scare. Since then we made it a priority to go to Alabama again and see her. We had so much fun while we were out there and indulged ourselves with lots of family time. Here are several pictures we took while we were down there.

Here is Jazzy and my cousin Savanah swimming at my Na-Na's house. The kids devoured two shaved ice that afternoon, it brought me back to my younger years while spending the year with my Na-Na. she used to own a shaved ice place and I used to spend almost every day with her there with a never ending supply of flavored ice.

Jayvins new buddy! despite the age difference between my cousins and the kids (Savanah 12, CJ 8) they all got along really well. Savanah and CJ are so sweet with the kids and very patient.

How cute is this?! They almost look like sisters =) Savanah took such good care of her.

Lamberts Cafe is an amazing restaurant and now one of Nathan's favorite places to eat. They have amazing southern style food and a great family environment. You order an entree and then on top of that they have people come by with "extras" like fried okra, southern potatoes, mac and cheese etc and fill up your plate for free. The kids go a kick out of the rolls flying around. When you raise your hand up be prepared to catch a roll from across the room.

Here's the "garbage disposal" eating some butter

We also made our way to Gulf Shores and spent the day on the beach with all the kids and my Na-Na.

 The kids had so much fun diving in the water and building sand castles.

Jazzy got burried. I think this was Savanah's idea but she loved every minute!

This was my crazy idea. took all of 15 minutes to turn my beautiful cousin into a mermaid. She couldn't wait to get out of this.

Here's a pick of my Na-Na with the kids

Nathan also had his first attempt at Crawfish. the kids loved them to. Jayvin ate a tone, Ridge ate about 5 and then he said he was done. Jazzy didn't want to taste but she had no problem kissing them lol, I could not for the life of me get the little bugers out. I did fine the first several and of course by the time Nathan got me on the camera mine kept breaking apart. I'm having issues uploading videos but here is at least one

My aunt was so sweet and surprised us with a photographer at her house. we were supposed to do a session out side in front of my Aunts pond but we got rained out. Just as we were lacing up my dress it stared to thunder. we thought we could make it so we ran outside under the gazebo for a few shots when it started pouring. We tried to wait it out but it just wasn't letting up so I had Nathan and my Benji (My Aunts husband) with 3 umbrellas around me trying to keep my dress dry while we ran back inside. it was quite a sight especially since one of the umbrellas was a "sunbrella" and let all the rain in lol. Just as we got inside the neighbors motorcycle got hit by lightning and blew up.... luckily all the kids made it in safely behind us.

Here are a few pictures that we got in side. There are a ton more but I wont post them all.

The Kids School Progress

We have yet to “officially” start home school, however we do still put aside an hour a day for learning time. In the state of Arizona you can’t register your child intent of homeschooling till the age of six and you don’t have to register your child to start homeschooling till the age of eight as long as you put in an intent to home school through the state and just confirm you do not wish to start official schooling activities till the child is eight.

We will be moving into the family housing at the ASU polytechnics campus in end of October/beginning of November? We are still unsure what housing we will be getting but the smallest of the bunch will be a 3 bed/2 bath plus den. The den will be used for their home school classroom and we are already stocking up on supplies. We have decided on a Montessori curriculum which is something that we will just do on our own with no official school books. Montessori is all hands on and they spend little no time with book work.

As we go through our school year I will be blogging their progress and uploading videos on all the activities we do. Before we start I will have the kids re-tested to see about what level they are at. It’s been about 5 to 6 months (age 4 ½) since they were official tested by a professional. At that point the tested into a begging 1^st grade level and were reading at a beginner’s level (level 1). They knew how to add and subtract double digits on paper and how to add and subtract single digits by memory. They could right their name and copy full sentences. At this point I know they need to be re-tested because they are now reading at an advanced beginners (level 2), they can now add and subtract up to 4 digit numbers, they can do multiplication with numbers up to 10, they can do simple algebra (ex. 3 +__= 13 and 20 -__ = 15). they can also right full sentences by listening instead of copying.

Right now we’re starting to work with time and money so they are really excited about that. We picked up a teaching clock and are using a daily schedule that has a little picture of a clock next to each activity where you can draw in the hands yourself, this way they will have to figure out what time their next activity will be on their own. We also purchased a paper money and coin set to start helping with their money skills.

Like I was saying we do an hour of official learning time. Really it’s more studying then anything with practice writing and reading etc. But I’m really not a big fan of just sitting down structured learning. I rather get more hands on. So in reality we do school all day long. We always try to find ways of teaching while at the park, or the grocery store. For instance today while leaving the store jazzy noticed pigeons that were in the parking lot eating something off the ground. She pointed them out and just then 2 flew away. So I asked her how many was left. She answered 4, just then 4 more flew down, so I asked her “if there are 6 pigeons and 2 flew away and then 4 came back how many would you have” she answered 8. We are constantly doing real life riddles and word problems all day long. Our real life learning practice tends to hold up lines at the super market while we let the kids count out the change to the cashier and we definitely cause some road blocks in the isles while the kids are comparing prices lol but its 100% worth it!!

The kids are so excited to start school at the new house and we are excited for them!!!we will definitely keep you up to date with all our progress =)

Our Vows

were getting settled with a movie so I dont have time to really write so I thought I would just blog a copy of the vows we took. nathan wanted to do our own, I didn't so we compromised on these =)

From this day on I choose you, my beloved Krystal to be my wife,

 to live with you and to laugh with you;

to stand by your side and sleep in your arms,

To be joy to your heart and food to your soul;

to seek to bring out the best in you; and for you,  to be the most I can be.

to laugh with you in the good times; To struggle with you in the bad;

to solace you when you are downhearted, to wipe your tears with my hand;

to comfort you with my body; to mirror you with my soul;

to share with you all my riches and honors; to play with you as much as I can

until we grow old always loving each other sweetly and gladly.

then we had our ring ceremony

Dearest Krystal my love,

            this ring is the symbol of my love and of the hopes and all the joy

 I most dearly behold in you. You are my guiding light, my love, my soul's most mirroring shadow, and my closest friend. 

This ring is a symbol of my love and that I am choosing

to share my life’s journey with you, and I know that in marrying you

I shall become much more than I am. I marry you with this ring,

with the wings of my love  with all that I have  and all that I am

We took video and pictures but I dont have time to post right now so I will leave you with this =)

My wedding dress in the making!!

 I went in for my first dress fitting after the first time alterations. They took it in from a size 12 to a size 6 and I’m very happy with the results. The bottom of it still needs to be done, as you can see it isn't laying just right. But it doesn't help that its extremely wrinkled and I didn't think to poof out the bottom before I had nathan take the picture, its still all twisted because I had just turned around.

 

 There was a Hideous flower on the side that has the "pick up" (my left your right) that I had her remove. I will be leaving the whole dress plain for the wedding.

 However for the reception Im having a bit of beading added to the bust area and i will also be having the lady take the sweetheart neckline a lot deeper with more of a "V" shape in the middle. I will also be making a huge Crystal broach with feathers to put in the place where the flower used to be I may add flowers on another part of the dress... we'll see!

This is the type of broach I will be using (95% sure)

and I will be surrounding it with white feathers like this. I will probably surround it with more feathers then the one in this pic and I also want to add some ostrich feathers to it to round it out more. it will be placed with the feathers facing up on the side where the "pick up" is below my hip. 

I wont be wearing a traditional veil but instead a "birdcage" Veil that will go in the front/side. It will cover my eyes and nose and stop right before my lips. I'm making it myself so I will be adding some Crystals and feathers. The pic below is similar to what I will be doing.

I wish I would have fixed the bottom of the dress it looks like crap in the pictures!!!! 

Nathan's Attempt At Blogging

I decided to give blogging a shot even though it is far from my comfort zone.  Now give me a puzzle or a math problem and I’ll be in heaven.  Proof of that is in this blog considering it took me over an hour just to write this one.  Don’t ask where the time went because I don’t even know. 

I was really excited to get into school and pursue my engineering degree but I overlooked the fact that I would be dealing with kids that have just graduated high school who don’t even know how to spell the word “Maturity.”  Even though I am only 7 years older than most, it astounds me to realize the cultural and timely differences between us. 

            A blatant example of this was in my intro to engineering class that I took my first semester.  During our first day of class, the teacher wanted to make a point that the structure of the class was very hands on and project oriented instead of a dull, note-taking lecture.  Here is the video she showed: 

            I hope most of you can recognize what movie this is from and realize that it is a classic.  Or at least I thought because when the teacher asked the class how many knew what movie that was from, less than half the class actually could give an answer….. Man I felt old!  I haven’t even hit my thirties and I’m already feeling the generational gap.  Next thing I know, someone will say “Who’s The Brady Bunch.”

           

            

"where do babies come from mommy"?

The twins have a children's encyclopedia that they are OBSESSED with! it has a section about reproduction and the kids came and asked about the pictures that included the man and women's reproductive organs, sperm, eggs, fetus and a picture that explains sexual intercourse.We have always been very open with the kids. seeing the birth process of Ridge and Olivia has allowed them to understand more then some kids twice their age. TheY know where babies come out of and the whole birthing and breast-feeding process but they had never asked how the baby gets in the tummy till now!  So as they asked questions i answered them (thats our rule. if their old enough to ask then their old enough to know) one question led to another, i let them lead the convo and used all technical terms and am happy with the out come! now they can explain the whole process of reproduction with all scientific terms lol. im actually really proud of how much info they retained because the next day they went to nathan with the book and  explained the whole process from intercourse to delivery (vaginal and csections). Nathan pointed to some of the pictures and asked "well whats that" one of the pictures was a women's egg surrounded by approaching sperm. when asked "whats that" their answer went something like this ....


Jayvin- thats the mommies egg. (pointing to the egg) and thats the daddies sperm (pointing to the sperm
Jazzy- and only the strongest and fastest sperm who make it to the egg can turn into a fetus that turns into a baby!!!!
Jaynin- (with excitement) AND JAZLYNN AND ME WOOOON!!!!!


 he was very impressed.


Nathan went through more pictures letting them lead and came upon the picture of the naked women with a baby in her belly, obviously towards the end of her term since the baby was head down. Nathan asked "whats this" Jazlynn and jayvins answer....


Jazzy- Thats the baby getting ready to come out of the mommies vagina....
Jayvin- well jazzy the babies can get cut out of the mommies tummy too remember. like me and you did.
Nathan- why did you have to come out of mommies belly and not mommas vagina?
Jazzy- because i was baby B and he was baby A and A come before B but he was Birtched (breech) so they couldn't get us out of her vagina!
Jayvin- (in a defensive voice) well I was only like that cause i wanted to give jazzy kisses (pointing at the picture) because see my head was up here and hers was down there and that way i could reach her!!


To bad it doesn't work like that kiddo but it was so cute i let him think it!


I love how open we are with our kids, after all the human body is nothing to be ashamed of. so far they only understand that sexual intercourse is the process to make a baby and that it is something that is not suitable for kids. I left the feelings and sexuality out of it and will leave that for when they are a bit older to grasp those loving intimate feelings. 


  oh and jayvin says " a boy is called a man or male and a girl is called a female or wiseman" lol how funny i corrected him i said "were called wise women"

Kids Say The Funniest Things!!!

jazzy- how do you spell C? nathan- S-E-A or S-E-E Jazzy- (confused) how do you spell B- nathan- B-E-E Jazzy- (really confused) well what about W Nathan- D-O-U-B-L-E Y-O-U Jazzy- ok...well what about F? nathan- E-F or maybe E-P-H Jazzy- UGH!!! I ONT GET IT!!!!!!

poor child! just when she thinks she has this whole english thing down nathan bursts her bubble!!!

Things kids Say

every now an then i post funny things that the kids have said on my facebook. I'm going to start posting them here that way i can remember.

so last night we were having music class here at home. we do this thing "I do, you do" where i make a beat and then i go down the line to each kid and have them do the same beat with whatever instrument they have. at the end of class they are rewarded with "free play"

5/24/11
it started off with Jazlynn, Jayvin and Ridge
me- "as soon as we are done with our beats you all can have free play, daddy do you want to get an instrument and sit with them"
daddy- "sure"
Jazzy- "well now its Fooooouuurrrr play"
we all start laughing
daddy- "no sweetie mommy isnt saying three play shes saying FREE play"
Jazzy- "oh, well that makes sense too"

they crack us up!!!

Grandpa Marvin

Grandpa Marvin (Nathans dad) often comes over to spend time with the kids and usually brings them some sort of gift. last time he brought them a HUGE horse they can sit on. Jazlynn named the horse Muna. the horse is a big hit! this time he brought Ridge a Tricycle. he LOVES it!

We spent about 1 1/2 hours out side playing. Nathan, Grandpa and Jayvin got into a game of base ball. we knew he had a great arm but we were surprised to see him bat. he would hit it almost over the fence across the parking lot. were now looking into putting him into baseball.

Grandpa was a great pitcher but he did better as a catcher. he also gave Jayvin some pointers.

Jayvin hit this one across the parking lot. good thing its a foam ball cause he hit several cars lol

He also hit this one. you can tell how good of a batter he is. he has great form!!

we love when Grandpa comes over. he has a lot of fun with the kids. I'm glad that this time i remembered the camera!