My blog is long over due I know but I’ve just had so much going on in my life and with me personally that I haven’t had the motivation. So ill just give some updates.
The baby is doing well. I have gained 8 pounds total so far and still trying to gain more. I’ve been keeping up with my weight on my moms scale since I only weigh myself in the mornings on hers and have weighed myself from the beginning on hers I feel its more accurate. Usually at the doctors we do really late apt so sometimes I’m a few pounds heavier but some times lighter cause its around the time of day that I throw up the most so I don’t feel its very accurate. I’m still sick throughout the day, throwing up and getting headaches but I suppose it comes with the territory. I almost hate complaining because I’m a little afraid that people will ask what the hell I did this for then or I will here the I told you so’s. But I’m a little tired of holding back just to avoid peoples reactions. GET OVER IT PEOPLE I AM HUMAN. I’m still very happy that I decided to do this for Rick and Anna! I would do it all over again =) it’s been a great experience and I believe it has made me stronger as a person and mom.
I went back on my Prozac. I’m so anti-medication during pregnancy but my postpartum depression has gotten so bad its hard for me to function. I’m no good to myself or my kids in that state that it was pretty much necessary. I took it after I had Ridge up until we started trying to get pregnant; I knew that it would be best for the baby if I didn’t take it during the pregnancy so I held off for as long as I could, trying more natural methods to help but nothing has seemed to work. Its only my third day on my meds and it takes up to 2 weeks to really take affect but I can feel myself starting to level out already.
I’ve been pretty stressed lately over a number of things that I won’t get into and our family is definitely not helping this issue at all. Nathan’s mom is pretty much opposed to me being a surrogate and she has made that clear. I think she feels that it has become a burden for us and put us in situations that we could have avoided and who knows maybe she is right. I couldn’t say for sure because all I know is where we are at today. I’m still VERY happy with my decision and I know it was the right one to make. In the long run I feel it is a blessing for my family to be apart of and I feel it is setting a good example. I think she just feels that our family should be first priority and in a way she is right but I also feel that we must lead our kids by example and that’s what I feel we are doing. I’m trying to show our kids and even ourselves that you should look beyond your own needs and wants and help others. There is ALWAYS something you can do to improve someone else’s quality of life, even with just a smile =) yes I am doing way more then just smiling to brighten someone’s day but I feel that being a surrogate is what I am supposed to do. I’m doing a lousy job of explaining this and really its sad that I should even have to so I’ll just stop here.
The baby is kicking now and moving up a storm. I can’t wait till Rick and Anna can really feel her! I already started making her some really cute bows and a couple of onsies with matching tutu’s, she will be a princess that’s for sure. I also started a really cute baby blanket that I’m croching. Its brown and pink, not baby pink but a little deeper pink, hard to explain but it should be really cute =)
Anna’s sister is already talking baby shower and Anna was kind enough to ask if there is anyone I would like to invite. I could think of a few people but almost feel it to be inappropriate since this really is for Anna. I don’t want to take that away from her. So I’m still unsure. Either way it was so sweet of her to ask =).
Well there are my updates. Again I’m not very motivated to write but I really needed too and should more often =)
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