Friday, November 13, 2009

Your Lease Is Up!

I'm now 36 weeks, measuring at 38 and I'm hoping that the measurements are more accurate and not that this will be another big baby for me. my dr felt and measured me and teased me saying it felt like a 12 pounder lol either way he says since the twins were 12 pounds and ridge about 10 pounds that it is very well possible. i roll my eyes at the statement lol or maybe its wishful thinking on my part.
we had our doc apt wed and my Douala jenny went with us. i really think that im the only one who likes my doctor lol. jenny and Anna both say that hes a nice guy but their not very convincing lol. even jenny my chiropractor says she doesn't care for him much but i really do love him. hes not as relaxed as i would want and he is more traditional in his ways then i like however when push comes to shove there is less shoving and pushing between us. when we disagree he tells me his opinion and i tell him mine and i follow it with a stern "its my way or the highway" and he just says "i think its a bad idea but you want what you want so" and that's the end of it. he never makes me feel stupid for disagreeing with him and he has this harsh dry sense of humor that i could see would put people off but i think its a riot and im not easily offended and he doesn't intimidate me so it really works out. really it probably is my personality cause i tend to be a little rash and blunt myself so i guess i could see how many women wouldn't like him and I've heard not many do but for me.....we work well together. i do wish Anna liked him more then i know she does and i know there have been times when she was a little offended by his ways and manners, or lack there of but i like that he puts me and the baby first priority and what we want cause it makes me feel like i can make more decisions for myself and not feel like i should always ask Anna if my decisions are ok. SHE has NEVER made me feel like i should ask its more just me cause its her baby and i feel like a babysitter in a way so i always second guess myself and my decisions asking myself if i think rick and Anna would approve.
I've had 2 episodes of false labor. nothing that i went running to the hospital for cause i know the "routine" and if i can avoid it then i will. i just wait and after a few hours it passes and all is well. at our apt dr kells went through his whole spill about what i need to do at the first sign of labor. he went through the rules pretty fast and didn't really put to much explanation into it and i know that its cause he know that even though he says that at the first sign of labor i need to go into the hospital that i wont so he doesn't waste much breath and just says what he needs to for liability reasons and that's that.
so anyways I'm feeling pretty well done and not even feeling like myself lately. Ive been going through allot and have pretty much given up on trying to explain how I'm feeling to anyone cause i realize that there not going to really get it. i had this conversation with my counselor and she says that if i ever have a problem with rick and Anna that i should talk to them about it....i laugh at that. i don't want any tension between me and my intended parents cause i don't want any resentment, the last thing i would ever want is to regret my decision on any of this and after explaining this the counselor said she saw my point. I've only seen the counselor once. Anna thought it might be a good idea to talk to a third party who wasn't bias and i tend to agree but i realized when she came out i didn't really have much to talk about. i mean anything that I've had a problem with i have ignored and i just explained why so besides that there really wasn't anything at all to talk about. maybe after the baby is born who knows cause I'm sure there will be some feelings that come up that weren't anticipated.
now that i have rambled. so I'm ready for all this to be over. i just want my space back lol.

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