Tonight Rick, Anna and I went to our Bradley Natural Birthing class. It’s a twelve week coarse and I couldn’t enlighten you enough how amazing this class is. I took it with Ridge and without it I would not have been able to give birth to my 9lbs 9oz 23in baby boy natural. I will tell you how amazing giving birth natural was. I wont lie those were the most painful 28 hours of my life, and there were many moment…ok hours that I wanted to give up, I didn’t even ask for an epi, I went straight for the c-section LOL that’s how bad it hurt. But my labor was triumphant and it truly has made me feel like I can accomplish anything.
Anna seems to like the classes. I can see that it brings some pain to her knowing that these classes are not preparing her for her own labor but instead me. I wish I could take that ache away for her, but what do you say? I can’t tell her I understand. I will never understand the years of loss she endured. But the little I can do I try to do and I just hope she sees that.
Rick is sooooo enthused with the classes --------> ok so I’m being sarcastic. He hates them. I do appreciate that he is going though. I told them from the beginning that I want…I need their full support and not only that but I wanted them to be apart of this. I was not up for renting out my uterus. They needed to be 100% involved and even though I sometimes wish they were more so involved I do believe that they are doing the best that they know how to. With Rick going to our classes shows me that even though he could be at home, sleeping, watching TV ect that he is already being a father and sacrificing one thing with many more to come for his little miracle baby.
There are times that I doubt my decision in picking the couple I did. It has nothing to do with Rick and Anna themselves but just in my own confidence that I would pick out great parents for this baby. I didn’t have a first-class example of what a good parent is because ill be honest and say it, my parents kinda sucked. I love them and all but…ill just leave it there. So how can I be confident in a colossal decision as this one. Could you believe it. Me…playing GOD? That’s what it feels like at times. I have a hard enough time attending church let alone doing gods work or whatever you would like call it.
Well….just thoughts to ponder before bed. One more day down so many to go and yet I’m excited about it all!
Anna seems to like the classes. I can see that it brings some pain to her knowing that these classes are not preparing her for her own labor but instead me. I wish I could take that ache away for her, but what do you say? I can’t tell her I understand. I will never understand the years of loss she endured. But the little I can do I try to do and I just hope she sees that.
Rick is sooooo enthused with the classes --------> ok so I’m being sarcastic. He hates them. I do appreciate that he is going though. I told them from the beginning that I want…I need their full support and not only that but I wanted them to be apart of this. I was not up for renting out my uterus. They needed to be 100% involved and even though I sometimes wish they were more so involved I do believe that they are doing the best that they know how to. With Rick going to our classes shows me that even though he could be at home, sleeping, watching TV ect that he is already being a father and sacrificing one thing with many more to come for his little miracle baby.
There are times that I doubt my decision in picking the couple I did. It has nothing to do with Rick and Anna themselves but just in my own confidence that I would pick out great parents for this baby. I didn’t have a first-class example of what a good parent is because ill be honest and say it, my parents kinda sucked. I love them and all but…ill just leave it there. So how can I be confident in a colossal decision as this one. Could you believe it. Me…playing GOD? That’s what it feels like at times. I have a hard enough time attending church let alone doing gods work or whatever you would like call it.
Well….just thoughts to ponder before bed. One more day down so many to go and yet I’m excited about it all!
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